Epic Penis

They ask, "Does size matter?"

Of course it does! It matters to everyone. Regular Twix or King Size...any Mcdonald's meals medium or large...and Big body Benz. Let me start by admitting, I am a size queen. To me, bigger is better (Not to be confused with The Bigger, The Better...I do have my limitations). Understand that this is simply a preference. You will not get shut down, because you are of medium girth and length. As a matter of fact, you may get play even if your smaller than most, because I have a heart and everybody needs some loving.

Let's start from the top (as you can see I am a Highly sexual being: don't judge me. There is a way to enjoy yourself and still be safe). I have a sexsense (no i didn't misspell six). Dont ask me how, but I have a tendency to tell when a brother is packing. I can tell you it's a compilation of swagga, demeanor, personality, and attitude. So ladies, please stop looking at his height, weight, shoe size (I wonder who came up with that), and nose (ha ha ha). Being a size queen with this gift has its obvious perks, but with every gift there is a curse. Now, in the approximately 85% of my Big Dick Situations(BDS) I have to deal with the overindulged ego.

Yes...daddy, you are holding it down in the bedroom; got me running, screaming your name. Not to burst your bubble, but this does not brainwash me to be a weak bitch. Who's pussy is this? Mine. You are co-owner during sexual actvities (that is if you know what you're doing. Please take note that there are other requirements...just having a big dick is not enough...do you know how to work it?). This is kind of like a sub-lease...it will always belong to me. This means I am the same person before, during, and after. We know there's a time and place for everything. I'll only be your bitch in the bed. Don't test me. Only in relationships do you become a co-signer.

I hate to burst your bubble, but your penis would never be big enough to disrespect me. Granted your package may reward you a higher tolerance level and you may get away with some things, but disrespect...NO. Maybe I'm talking this mess due to my sexsense, but for me big dick comes a dime a dozen, so you and your nasty ass ego can go. Besides, I heard you when you said it was good; a real boost of ego! Thank you!

To my medium-sized brothers...Who ever said "No pain, no gain." is a lie. "It ain't your pencil it's how you write your name." (Mason Betha) I am only a size queen , because there are certain areas I need 'tapped' in order to reach my sexual peak.

I grew up a Tomboy (because I hated girls and girlie ways), so I have a certain connection to my male counterparts. I don't usually get into clowning men with little penises, because they really had no control over the matter...How rediculous would they get if they did have a choice? Lovers...be loving.

I know I am not some raging bitch

Please take heed to this

Before you get up in my face

Know your place

And you will be treated like the King

You were built to be

Signed...The Size Queen

Light tah tah, for now.

Cocker Spaniels and Muchoskins

In my first post I spoke about the Cocker Spaniel (a Young Man whose sole purpose is to...well, cocker your spaniel. Usually because they're LEGAL, but can't take you to the club and (in most cases) still live with their momma.) Legal of course means at least 18, but I prefer mine to at least have graduated out of high school...lol...lawd.

We don't get serious with Cocker Spaniels, because their immaturity and lack of wisdom will drive us crazy. They are for fun and games, because they can understand fun and games. Please, when dealing with them let them know their position. The last thing you want is your co-worker showing up at your cubicle talking 'bout "Hey girl, I think your nephew is out there looking for you..." and he's standing out by the front desk with a dozen roses talking 'bout "Hey Boo, I've missed you..." looking for a kiss (I think you get the point).

Consider that some may not be able to enter the club with you, much less buy you a drink. Now I can't give you an age difference, but if you or your homegirl has children their age...that's a good gage. You'll know, Stella, you'll know.

Now for the Muchoskin...I puposely didn't define it in my first post to see who will ask or see if you would just pretend that you knew.

Here are the myths to figuring out a man's 'size': height, shoe size, nose, hands, etc.

I usually don't deal with men shorter than me; their 'Napolean Complex' is real and intolerable.

A Muchoskin in a Macho Munshkin. Mucho is much (or a lot) and I think we know what a munshkin is, if not...look it up. That's all. I don't deal with shorter men otherwise, so I came up with a term...it's the poet in me...lol.

Light Tah! Tah! (4 now)

Fetishes- What better way to begin?

So...I finally have a blog! I know you are all very excited (ha ha). It's a brilliant way to journal (w/o the status character limitations). Especially, for the writer that hates the physical act of writing. I know I'm odd. Actually, I prefer SPECIAL...I'm so special, so special, so special!

Okay, on to the Topic At Hand(TAH). Fetishes.

So, I'm chatting with my potential Cocker Spaniel* and he asked me about a specific sexual act**. I replied to him that it was my fetish. Judging by his reaction I think it is safe to say that he had the wrong idea for what fetish meant.

You know I looked it up.

I did not know that a rabbit's foot is considered a fetish, come to think of it...that makes sense too. Anyway, I went with definition c***. I had no Idea it was that deep! Being a poet...I have my own definition.

Aham! A fetish is simply the thing that ultimately turns you on; sexually, it's what I love to do.

He apparently took it to be an addiction, because he then commenced to wanting to slut me out to his crew of young men. Besides the universal law of having one Cocker Spaniel at a time (this will eventually be it's own blog)...Hello! You are the Cocker Spaniel! You are trained and the trained do not call the shots!

No, but seriously, it transfers from being a fetish to addiction if it has control of you. I will have you know that I do NOT go into withdrawal if I do not perform my fetish.

Oh, if by chance you THINK you've figured out what my fetish is...I will lie. Unless, of course, your a potential Cocker Spaniel, Muchoskin, or sexual partner.

Hope you enjoyed my 1st blog...This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

P.S- Ladies, don't be frontin' like you never had a Cocker Spaniel or thought of it! Judgemental asses...lol


* A Cocker Spaniel - is a Young Man whose sole purpose is to...well, cocker your spaniel. Usually because they're LEGAL, but can't take you to the club and (in most cases) still live with their momma. Note: this term is original...it's mine! You're free to use it, but give me my PROPS!

**Most of you know me and know I'm a straight up individual, but I still have to protect ItsReaLight the product. There's just some things I cannot reveal, so use your imagination. Besides...if I told you, the brothers will be lined up at my door!

***c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

Light TAH! TAH!..4 now